Many people enter marriage thinking that they’ll live happily ever after. Some people see marriage as a long-term relationship, while some think it’s not a lot different than regular dating.
It happens soon after couples exchange vows that they begin to see discrepancies between their experience and expectations. It takes a lot of time and effort before you learn to live in relative harmony with your spouse. As a newlywed, you should know that your journey with your spouse may be completely different from what you have imagined or what you have seen other couples go through.
There is no handbook that teaches all the dos and don’ts of staying in a matrimonial relationship as every couple has a different journey ahead of them. However, some things remain constant in every couple’s journey and every newlywed should know how to handle them right. Here are some things couples wish they’d known as newlyweds:
1. Others will bring up the question of having children.
Not a month will pass by after you’ve got married and people will start making comments about the third family member. Some people don’t mean anything by such comments and it’s their way of making small talk. Some people, on the other hand, make such comments or ask such questions to inquire about the state of your marriage.
Some of these comments may come from your parents or loved ones and you can’t always take them seriously. It’s perfectly understandable that your parents are getting older and want to see their grandchildren. However, this should not pressure you into having children before you are ready.
2. Taking ‘me time’ or doing this alone does not damage your relationship.
In the first few months of marriage, couples are happy to do everything together, from shopping to watching TV to eating. You may also feel like forgoing some of your favorite activities that don’t interest your spouse. There are some really interesting activities that you can engage in with your spouse. You can check them out on this page.
Couples often don’t realise that pursuing different interests or taking time alone will not damage their relationship. Instead, it will help you realize that you don’t have to leave what’s important to you just because you and your partner have different interests.
3. Married sex is less spontaneous and more predictable.
Though there is nothing inherently wrong with scheduled sex, it may reduce sexual passion which may have an impact on sexual intimacy. You’ll need to pick up a few tricks to keep sex interesting.
Married couples often don’t keep sex on the agenda because they believe that if it’s meant to happen, it will happen. However, it’s important to schedule sex if it’s not happening spontaneously and you have gone without it for weeks.
For some couples, scheduling sex can engender performance anxiety and negatively affect their libido. Whether you want to schedule sex or not, you should know as a newlywed that sex will not be as spontaneous as it used to be. Not having enough sex can also take a toll on emotional intimacy between you and your spouse.
4. Fighting on trivial things is common.
You will always get into occasional fights with your spouse even if you are very understanding of your partner. It’s not only common in marriage but also conducive to a happy married life.
Getting into a fight with your partner is not indicative of lack of compatibility or love. Instead, it shows that you are comfortable communicating your thoughts with your partner even if they don’t align with his/hers.
Research has found that couples who argue effectively are more likely to live happily together than those who keep their feelings bottled up and sweep problems under the carpet.
Article Written by Louis Belgie.
